Salted caramel

It's been a while.

So much has gone past me with the speed of a bunny steering a spaceship drowned in Christmas lights and pictures of his favorite carrots,
And it'd be boring if I constantly started my writing this way
But I'd like you to know that I've been starving myself of the need to write,
To pour my thoughts onto an ubiquitous page,
And to take the time to truthfully articulate each and every event of my life.

I suppose I just wanted to treat this as a reward somehow.

As a result of that, I have far too much to fit into letters,
Far too much to be organized beyond the playful chaos in my mind.

Still,
I'm in a really good place in life right now.
The recent discovery of a study room five minutes away from the house has led to far more productive expenditure of time,
And I wake up every morning to a need to complete more,
To stay on task, be ahead, and be focused.

Each day I'm trying to memorise tons of facts and formulas,
And when I'm not doing that I'm reading and rereading texts and notes.

There are plans, and there is ambition.
Yet you can't freak out; you can't ever afford to get overwhelmed.
Like it always is
We take it,
One step
at a time.

Suspended
in
             
             Air


I assure you, we can go further than where we are now.

And perhaps it'd be entertaining for you to know that the fiend has returned for a part three of her story, and its strange how someone who hurt you tries to get you back
But that is how it is-
And I wondered for a couple of minutes
If I were being too petty, too hard-hearted, and too unforgiving
To be unable to appreciate the honest efforts of someone else at salvaging a relationship long gone and rotten

And came,
To the expected conclusion that anger is one thing, forgiveness another,
And self protection as the one thing that shouldn't ever be neglected.


Perhaps it makes for a severe personality,
But there is a difference between holding on to grudges
And being smart enough to protect yourself.

She locked the gate up herself;
She entered with a swagger in her walk and a head held high,
Then left with stolen gold and a trudge in her creepy steps.

If she's done it once, she'll do it twice.
Second chances are for the ones that earn it;
I was honestly ready to let go of the fact that she was selfish and hurtful: Part of me had thought it understandable that she'd do all that.
But the constant act for sympathy and her leech qualities are, quite frankly put, repulsive,
And it makes it clear that she'd just be one of those faceless bad friends that I've had the intelligence to make.

And I do wonder if this is what an annoying ex feels like- I really do.

Either way,
There is more work to be done,
And I've just been too tired every night to do anything other than sleep
Or to revise for the next test.

It feels amazing to wake up to completed tasks and to-do lists, you know.

And I really do wish
That no matter where you are in life
No matter what it is that hounds you,

You're in a happy place,
Doing your own thing,
With your own goals, ambitions, and dreams.
You are concentrating on what's crucial,
You don't dwell for eternity on the little bit of mud on your shoe,
And you don't let things get to you as much because there's something else,
Something bigger, something beautiful, something up and out there.
Every night is submerged in the tenseness that comes with a busy and exhausting life,
Every morning the slight anxiety at what's to come,
Every afternoon a constant rescheduling of that ten-minute snooze you so constantly crave,
And every meal a satisfied desire stemming from a rich soul.

You're reaching out to what makes you fulfilled,
You are finally doing that meet up with someone important despite everything else,
You're making your little promises come true,
And you're just that tiny step closer to who you wish to blossom into.

Because,  after all
That is what life's all about.