I felt the familiar feeling of being overwhelmed, and being too soft to deal with it the right way.

I want to dig a hole, and die inside.

Oh hold up, that's what happens ain't it


Change of location for storytelling today, and the kids are unexpectedly rowdy-
I mean like half of them stand up continuously, telling them to sit down doesnt work,
Giving out sweets becomes a grab fest whereby they shove each other,
some of them fall onto the ground like dominos,
Making the timid ones cry and the quiet ones tremble whilst
The obnoxious ones get six or seven,
And all the stories were interjected with 'I can't see!' and screeches of anger.

It was a flipping disaster,
And I was genuinely intimidated by how they were all up in your face,
With no restraint or manners, grabbing those sweets like their lives depended on it.

After all, the kids at the other library hadn't been this intense..
They were really nice and sweet little beings.

Then the librarian assigned to help me today stepped in and pretty much yelled at them-
Don't get me wrong, I really appreciated the help there.
Still, he'd been the scariest of them all: Shouting with a permanent smile on his face and all that.
Then he offered me advice, and told me to intimidate them with silence and stuffs

I mean that someone like this was really needed for a situation like that,
And mental preparation hadn't gotten me far enough to deal with it effectively so it'd really helped,
But being fierce and instilling discipline in children when my intentions are to merely read and make them enjoy the stories as is isn't part of what I believe in, and I thought to myself that I really could have handled the situation so much better and yet hadn't because of lack of tact and whatnot.

All that aside, though
There'd been an extremely adorable child amidst the hard faces and dulled eyes;
One that cried from all the confusion and chaos,
A little boy in a checkered shirt and a smooth waterfall of hair.

He had to be the only nice part about today-
I tried giving him a hug but he'd stiffened and stayed rooted in one spot,
And I'd awkwardly ended up patting him on his little head,
Offering him sweets and telling him that it's alright.

Then he'd cried again,
Rubbing his eyes and mumbling something that I couldn't quite make out until five or six repetitions later
'...bye bye', he squeaked
And for a moment I simply gazed at him with the creepy reaction of a teenager stunned by the simplistic cuteness of it all.

'Oh.. oh! Um, thanks- bye. Thank you for coming; I hope you enjoyed the stories'

Smiling usually works,
But here a sweet and shy boy simply nodded and went off,
Taking a piece of my heart with him.

See, this is why I still believe in humanity.


.
Oh god,
This was suuuuuch a disaster though.

I want to dig a hole, and cower in it.
Hush