Shadowy crowns

"What do you think of him?"

Ahhh, the million dollar question.
It really does make me wonder, the way people like to pull others into their own circles and thrust them this question as a form of assessment, as though it is something intellectual, something that requires deep thought and accurate judgment.
It's funny because it should have been obvious, the way I don't respond and act like I'm too deep in the contents of my book to hear you and your intellectual debate on someone that distant.. That I am in no way interested in your conversation. I do not want to be involved, and I do not want to offer up my opinions and validate myself that way.
I'm smiling at you because it really isn't my wish to be too blunt,
But you press on and me being the social butterfly that I am will have to respond by telling you what
I actually think-- Nothing.

"I don't know."

Of course this isn't a good enough answer,
And of course I have to have my own juicy details to add on to the gourmet on the table- as though if I didn't, I wouldn't fit into the premises of a normal human who's 'capable of conversation'.

I know exactly what it is you want to hear- it's the exact same thing your own companion who took part in this very engaging conversation said to you... Just five seconds ago.

But guess what, those words would pave the road to some dull and petty one-way conversation that I'll be zoning out on by the time the second sentence leaves your mouth.
So, no.
I'm not doing it, not unless I hold strong feelings against someone. Not unless you're someone and not just anyone.

"Isn't it pointless to be evaluating him like this when none of us actually know him?"
Bam.
The stuttering.
The shifty eyes.
I'm out again, I'm always out.
And it's not because I think myself to be above you or anything- I'm sure I love gossip as much as anyone else does. I don't claim to be detached and godly and clean- I am not.
I'm just not interested, woman.
Talk about someone close to me and I will want you to stop because that concerns privacy. Talk about someone far and I will not want to assume.
Things become obvious about a person after a while, you know. Seeing that with your own two eyes and recording that under your own special brand of silence would be more accurate than 'conversing' is.


Do you have any idea how boring this interaction is turning out to be?
Yeah?
Because I'm boring myself, too.

Why can't we talk about food or movies or books
Or you, your interests, your beliefs,
Or your complaints about life, as repetitive as that can be,
Or your love troubles and my advice stemming from an imagination,
Or actual, actual, thoughts about things that I may or may not have the intellectual capacity to discuss with you on?

Why, why why
Why must it always be this one particular million dollar question-

It doesn't change anything and it's much better if you say it to their face
It's meaningless, it's a waste of time, my books teach me more than talking with you ever can
It's something people for some reason do to make themselves feel better, or together, or connected in some strange way-

It's boring and it's not right!