Time to grab something sweet and go to bed

Selfish feelings-
Maybe I'm asking something of you-
Maybe I'm not-
I'm not sure,
But at least I had made things clear to you
And all things aside,
Talking while agitated is a good thing.
Not arguing, not shouting, not forcing of one's ideals.
Talking.

Maybe I'm not explicit enough
Or coherent enough
Or communicative enough
To say things clearly and make clear what I feel and think
But at least we talked and that's good enough.

Whether or not this issue is resolved is up to you now-
It's your decision and your life-
I will not hate you for this, or think you stupid like you said you were afraid of.
I am no saint and obviously will be pissed at you.
But please don't be affected by that? Make your own decisions.

Whatever the result, I just gotta accept it and do my best from that point on, right? That's the way it works.




.
Days like these I just need some empathy and understanding from someone--not just anyone-- someone. You know that I don't talk to most of them about these things.

Not judgment, not advice, not well-meaning patronizing words- Please, understand me.

I know that your intentions are good
But no,
It's not appropriate to tell me not to be sad,
Or that it is 'just' a _____.

Because would you call school 'just' school?
Or A level results 'just' results?

We care about things for a reason.

We choose certain people to open up to for a reason.

We open that mouth and say something treasured--- for a reason.

I don't ever think that my emotions are important
It's insignificant and I'm very affected by this
But I try to communicate to you
And all I need,
Is really, a listening ear.
Not a wooden block,
A listening ear.

Because you of all people should know
I don't talk about something until I realise it's finally time to indulge and acknowledge something,
And when I do I try to downplay it so as to not be dramatic

But I need you to listen.

Sometimes the best kind of consolation is silence.
Not criticism, not your wonderful thinking processes, not the different perspectives, not analysed reports.

It's-
Please, I'm sorry.