Antique print.

Couple of visits later, and I'm glad that this has been done, obligatory or not.
She'll be discharged tomorrow, and all's well ends well. :>
After all, I wasn't forced. No one should be,
And on a more self-interested level this is pretty much done because it feels right, and feels muuuch better to do.

If you go into the psychological aspect of it, I'm really just doing this for the sake of myself, so there you go. :<
The thought of not doing something I should always bugs me,
And it just feels wrong and terrible.

On the other hand, it really does make my parents happy, so there isn't anything to complain about, y'know?
It's a win-win situation, and I'm happy it lights their eyes up.

I'm just wondering if it's all too late to be doing the right thing here.


.
Part of being older means that your parents no longer talk down to you.
I say 'talk down to', but it really isn't anything too negative. Rather, it signifies how babied we are from a young age, and how things are kept from us/ simplified because it was assumed that we wouldn't understand.
Now however, they tell you things.
They're no longer vague concepts of being a 'mom' or a 'dad', but individuals that have troubles and emotions like the rest of us. They are flawed, and obviously it's not simply due to the rules they implement or the restrictions that they place on you.
I mean humans, and we weren't ever shown that; not when we were still kids.
(Or perhaps we were but I was too busy talking to walls to notice)

Ah, yes. I used to tell walls -literally do so- things I couldn't fit into a conversation, or things I loved saying but had already been told once and so couldn't be repeated, from my point of view.
Ummmmmmm...
That's.. normal...right? Rightt?!



Yeah, I started young didn't I.
=_=


It makes me feel a little nostalgia for when all I blabbered about was school and food and weird things, and didn't know how to listen or observe. I probably didn't make sense, and I kept falling for the same old bad friends and helping out the wrong people.
Yet they'd listened, and advised, and while I'm not arrogant enough to say that the roles have reversed, (and they probably never will for my lack of experience), I am now listening, too.


It's all so different, and... nice.
I didn't know about the events that occurred to my other relatives, or the stuffs they did;
To me, they have always been distant figures that I wasn't interested in.
There is this one cousin who loves to spend money and who only ever talks to me about that,
One who asks me for relationship advice,
One who I want to be spending time with because that'd be a good and nice thing to do...

So then I've always been in a state of not knowing about my parents troubles in detail, or about their families and the stuffs that happened.
I thought that that one person was good because she'd given me candy, but of course that was a kid's perspective and it didn't help.
They don't talk about work, and they confide in each other instead of us.

It's strange,
when you are now, all of a sudden, trusted as a friend
And you seem to be regarded as a seventeen/eighteen year-old instead of some little girl who never grows up or as someone to be shielded always.


Oh well.
The economy is bad this year.

Times like this I don't actually say it out loud because it'd sound clumsy, cheesy,and bad,
But I just hope to be given a few more years.
A couple more,
And I'll get the degree I need, a job, and therefore an income to take over.

The longer, the better.
Just give me- us-
more time.


We're almost there.
.

My paternal granny is this intelligent, strong-willed and independent woman,
And I say this because of so so many things that she did and the pieces that I did gather from here and there.

When my dad speaks of her in such a matter-of-fact tone that's filled with subdued admiration, cares for her and does all these sweet gestures, and my mom does all these amazing things to be nice and good to people,
I look at them and I think, 'Whoa, I could never be that good'.

And don't we all just feel that so intensely whenever our parents (or someone we look up to) partake in actions that wow us over and over again?
Don't we all just sit and stare in wonder, at the kind of goodness spilling out of them and think, that we wouldn't ever attain that level?

But it makes you want to get there,
And while they're all holding onto some old-fashioned beliefs which you can't agree with,
They're still inherently filled with warmth that overflows wherever they go,
And whatever they do.


Ahhh.. and this is why I hold back on my writing because it does get rather cheesy and unfiltered.