Thank you :D

It can be felt.

How you guys are making the conscientious effort to make me feel welcomed, and that's... That's really sweet of you.

I know I said out loud how I felt, but truth be told I wasn't looking for guilt or awareness or any change to take place. It was just a simple wish of wanting to be honest and open, to be truthful and to rip the paper walls down myself.

I honestly thought it would just make us more distant, and more awkward around each other.

The smiles. Words. Actions.

You guys are just the sweetest bunch ever.

I joined with the desire for a place to belong in. Somewhere where I can do what I like---acting---make friends, build camaraderie, have fun, and generally be like a normal teenager.

I thought I would never achieve it. But perhaps, this is one step closer. 

Perhaps, we are all inching toward a warm, close-knitted space where we can all be who we are and strive toward the ideal self and future.

Really, I'm not too good at socializing and holding conversations... And writing is the one thing I communicate best in. None of you know of my blog, which is why I'm so open here in the first case. So yeah. Let's continue with my monologue/autistic writing/lengthy letter.

Thanks, Benjy, for letting me win today :p

(that was real nice and gentlemanly of you) (and I feel kinda bad) 

(you've just been such a nice person from the first day I joined...and I should do something for you!) (But would it be creepy if I made you a plushie? Actually yes, huh...) 

Thanks, Yr 4s, for trying so much to involve me 

(it's really alright though, if you guys still find it awkward around me. Some of you look like you are contemplating real hard about whether or not you should smile at me or say 'hi' xD And that's very amusing hahaha)

Thanks, Mr An, for being such a fun and nice instructor

(you make CCA such an enjoyable experience and it's not stressful at all)
(long sessions make me so happy)

Thanks, expensive lights, for not breaking when I was graceful enough to hit you with Mr An's bottle 

(and yes I have abnormal reactions... The lights should have been my priority, not the bottle) 

Thanks, Valerie, for giving me a hug today when I gave you the plushie I tried so hard to make

(it's not pretty though >_< )

Although... You were going for a full hug and me, a side hug... And we ended up in this weird looking and feeling embrace.

(I'm sorry, I'm not good with physical contact) (I'm working on it!)

And I shall state my not so secret desire for you guys to see this 

But then again I don't really want you to...

Ahh. Oh well.