I know, I'll disagree. If you aren't okay with that, things will end.

You have your good.

You have your flaws.

You are another human, one I wish to connect with.

You have finally opened up to me for once, and you are the type to continue doing so without performing door slams whimsically and without warning.

I don't agree with some of your thoughts, and I could voice it

But something tells me that disagreeing with you is what will stop all these.

I'm not afraid.

It's just that I really want to make friendships last,

And I really try to enjoy our conversations.

But I don't.

Perhaps I am not good natured enough,

Or forgiving enough,

Or loving enough 

To enjoy and be genuinely interested in all the bits and pieces of your life that you so willingly share nowadays.

To want and need a day-to-day running conversation, much like sticky glue and gooey caramel, sweet and addictive.

To look forward to walking together and learning more about you.

I honestly would, if I feel it.

But I don't.

Listening to your problems makes me feel,

But something is lacking.

Something important in a friendship---Something that extends beyond a mutual exchange of problems and advice. 

Something like... Fun..?

Something like small talk, only more obnoxious and silly.

Something like simple, simple, simple time together.

I don't like the way you don't seem to appreciate my advice, even if it's what you yourself already know.

I don't like it when things feel forced, and I don't enjoy your company but I desperately try to.

I don't like you very much as a person...

But I really want to.

That would be ideal, right, good, better, wise, nice...

That wouldn't be me.

Perhaps I am not sweet enough to be satisfied with your good alone and being a mere listening ear without being able to contribute with my true thoughts. 

Stuff like what I think of prostitution puts you on a highly strung cord that threatens to teeter you over into the wailing sharks below---Stuff like that I know and can feel. Stuff like that I only appreciate and enjoy it if people try to show me what they think without being hurtful, and you only show it to me via those subtle expressions and nanoseconds of hesitation and silence.

Stuff like ranting about movies and acting, or praising books, or counting the times I cried and the times mom freaked out over that. Stuff like how the ice cream would be better with dark chocolate instead of milk, stuff like a future shop together, stuff like clothes, food, the school, your school and your hobbies. 

Stuff like that is what I want to do,

Not stuff like knowing all about your life, 

Not stuff like talking about nothing else except your life.

Unless. That is,

We are close.

That way, I will love you so much I will wish you talked more so I stop blabbering and stop being so self-centered, boring and selfish. 

That way, I will sing so much around you you will get sick of my voice.

That way, I will laugh like a mad woman and you will enjoy/get tired of my company so much more. I will be so much more than a 'good listener', and you will be someone much more interesting. 

That stage however, is only reachable if we go way back, and not many manage to do so.

Not with my erratic temperament and quiet thoughts.

Not with my straightforward thoughts that others would call 'complicated'.