It will be worth it because that is what I want. It will be excruciating effort with little to no repay, but hey... You gotta sacrifice a little something for what you want.

Apparently one science is useless without another

And you are either a 'science student' or an 'arts student'.

What I want is an 'odd' subject combination,

Not offered by the school and not advisable.

Why, but I know what it is that I want.

I like one science but I like the arts, too.

I do not wish to be classified so stereotypically, but.

Suppose my want cannot be fulfilled without sacrificing anything.

Suppose I have to take Chemistry just so I'm not forced to drop Biology which I love and need for my future.

Suppose I face something I don't wanna do just for the sake of something else, something I do so badly at despite working for, something I am absolutely sure I wouldn't want or need.

Suppose I struggle and die, a hundred times over.

.

So be it.

So be it, if I end up with two sciences and an unwise decision.

Sacrifices have to be made, afterall.

Life is never smooth.

It can never be, for it was never meant to be.

One doesn't have that much control over her future,

But I'm prepared to appeal and appeal and ask for it over and over again.

Still, there are no guarantees...

And I am really scared.

I am afraid and conflicted and scared.

I am not ready in the slightest.

I have never considered the possibility of being 'odd'.

I have been so naïve in thinking that following the heart always works.

Oh, but it will.

Besides, it's not allllll bad. :)
The good will be there.

It will be.

It's just this really huge hurdle that one has to contort her body to overcome.

It's just this denatured enzyme with an irregular active site hoping for the perfect substrate to complete it.

It's just...

That the world's a tiny place when you don't fit into your environment's norm.