Novice.

I feel like I will fall for someone not meant for me.

Someone so charming that most people will love,
That wouldn't notice me,
Who if returned my feelings in full if not more

Will not be someone I can get along with.

I feel like if you're not emotional, an over-thinker, or a perfectionist,
I will not fall for you.

And since we'll be so similar in that we're difficult people in general,

It wouldn't work out.

Oh, no

It's not worry or fear I'm addressing here.

It's, Excitement.

Excitement and fear, really.
So I am contradicting myself.
Like always.

But is it not fear which makes things exciting?


It's the trembling excitement at the unknown.

It's the adrenaline and knowing

It's the fact that it'll be something so intense it will break me
It's the thing whereby it wouldn't be as dramatic or suspenseful as dramas make it out to be, but it will not be compatible. It will be eccentric, erratic, and constant in the way that it constantly changes.

That emotional side of you will rub me in all the wrong ways.
That temper of mine
That silence of mine
Will drive you away from me,

Perhaps alike to how it pulls you in in the first place.

Your sensitivity
Your observance and keen eye for details

Your spontaneity

Will perhaps drive me away, too.


We all have our own worth.

I'm not one to fear 'never finding someone out there'.

I am, however, afraid that you, an unknown light as of now,
Will become a shadow of my life;

Cast so strong it's impossible to shake off.

That, I fear.

That, I anticipate and know.

That, I want to feel and experience.

How do I know, you say?

I just.. Feel it.

Hopeful that it wouldn't be true in the sense that life revels in its power of making things change and everything 'unknown' and 'unplanned for', I too am interested in knowing exactly how it feels like to have this genre of emotions.

Don't be afraid of my assumed jealousy, because I wouldn't ever stick with someone for the sake of it. Not unless it is a Someone. Therefore, jealousy does not exist.