Bunched up wool

Last year, I played Emily from Poop by Chong Tze Chien for SGEM
It was a dramatic reading session, meaning that you read from a physical copy of the script while on stage. A more accurate description would be partial acting, I suppose?
And I really fell for the character.
She's strong despite her age, and the way she reacts to her circumstances breaks me.

It's a really powerful script about loss, love, and the meaning of death, well written and all.

I guess what I'm saying is that I am actually one of those to take a teacher's random comments seriously, and that when she said that poop would become an actual production, staged in the auditorium instead of the drama studio like last year.. I got excited. That means that lines have to memorized and it's full-on acting. It means that something I love gets to be expanded on. It too means that somehow more people will know of it, the timing and location is less secluded, and the ones I want to show this to, can come. After all, it was only open to students for last year- and my family couldn't come.

Thus I may or may not have been looking forward to this time of year
For a year, now.

We had less than a month for preparation for that,
And while it was tough it was fun and exactly what I loved.
Apart from the fact that I want to play this character again,
Be it to do it better or just for the sake of a second experience-
I've been worried about whether or not it's even gonna happen
And that if it does get staged again- would I be allowed a part in it.

The thing is,
No one apart from me wants to do this production
Asking about it confirms that.
So if it is to happen, it has to be something that the teachers want.
Despite her popping in before,
Announcing that the performance will be official this year,
It still isn't happening.

We might not even have the time (for we are only left with two weeks) to put up anything at all.
And we basically wouldn't get to act much, not anymore, after this...



Of course I'm disappointed,
But this is okay.

Perhaps it was too indulgent to fall for a character like that, and harbor hopes for a year.
It was a first character, after all. The first one to ever have development and depth, unlike the 'first' magician that I played- which didn't have the complexities of a well-written, 'human' character- the first actual play that I'd somehow gotten to act in. And I suppose that's gotten me slightly spoiled.

Once is enough; learn appreciation.
Won't you.. I mean, me?