Bowl of reeeeaaalll personal nuts. Want some?

You know that feeling you get?

Satisfaction.

Grades aren't all, but it does affect your future in some way or another and you have no choice but to care about it.

Results on the other hand for other things seem to be given way more attention than necessary

Even tho it ain't exactly that crucial except for self affirmation that comes from comparison.

There, I said it. 

Ain't got no pretty words up my sleeve, eh?

But it is extremely satisfying when you see an improvement in your grades.

Like hey, you studied pretty hard after all. Even if the grades didn't reflect it, you would have been pretty darn proud of yourself all the same.

Sorry, I uh.. Am kinda affected by a book's style of writing

Anyways.

There definitely was improvement---steps forward--- in many subjects
Used to fail. Used to not pay attention in class.

Take Math, for example

Failed consistently (oh yeah that takes talent by the way)

But been getting a little A now and again.

Don't get me wrong, there's still a long long loooong way to go

But the progress I've made---and I'm talking bout actually understanding what questions want---or just questions, in general. Used to be like Greek to me.
Actually listening in class and grasping concepts

Actually knowing what to do for the questions

Actually getting answers---correct answers
Consultations, practice, and stupid questions that must have been entertaining

I feel like

Like I'm finally getting my life back on track.

The mess it was in

The mess I was

It wasn't even that bad but I was getting too lost 

It's finally starting to improve

I'm finally starting to pick myself up

And it's all finally starting to look brighter.

I've said it before and I will say it again

And again and again and again

This year is crazy nuts and I am crazy nuts, too

There's people to thank and some unknowing ones in particular

And I just about will never trade this bowl of nuts for anything else 

Cuz now there's hope

Motivation was never a meaningful thing but now it's there, too

There's fluffy clouds of marshmallows in the air for clouds

And you have hot chocolate to pair it with

There's... Hope. Even if there wasn't complete and utter despair in the first place.

There's a bright future ahead and I've never been more sure in my life.

So much that I think I've written but remains implied and not explicitly stated

So much that I can't phrase it into words, so this will have to do for now 

Cuz, it's nuts. It's just plain nuts to even think about.