Do you care enough to survive, or do you care too much to affirm?

Had a great day as usual

My crush returned---and is gone. Poor guy was sick again.
I think he tends to neglect himself. :<

Not sure when I'll get to see him once more.

Something though.
Many of us seem to care a lot about 'results'.

Results are what determines our future, apparently.
Our self worth, or the worth of one's effort and thought in a piece of work
Seems to depend on the judgment from a system or group of people or even one individual

The number or rating seems to affirm us, or the effort we have put in
It seems to be capable of setting us apart from one another,
Making us 'better' or more 'talented'.

In such cases, the 'product' is already regarded as of more importance than the 'fun' or 'process' already, don't you think?
When you're asked to give a score, and the whole point of the game is supposedly to have fun
Would you give the true score you think they deserve,
Or would you give them a high score just to achieve the simple aim of making them 'happy'?

Of course, this would make the results not mean much.
Everyone gets a high score no matter the quality of their work.
What's the point?

It doesn't do justice to those who strived the hardest or who were the greatest.
Yeah. You have a point there, you do.
But really, it all boils down to how much people care about results these days. They seem to place their self esteem and sense of achievement on a weighing scale with results, as though if they didn't, all that grueling hard work behind the scenes would be for naught.
No, silly.
That effort is what makes it so precious and beautiful.
That attempt at stepping out of one's comfort zone is what's worth the mark.

All the rating is is just a number, a number that means something but doesn't define what you are or what you present to the audience in life. If, and only if one doesn't even try, does he deserve a low mark, and the sole reason for the 'low' number is just so he knows how saddening it was that he didn't even want to try, and that the 'low' number was given in full knowledge that he would care too much about it.


Sure, many will tell you the end product was 'good' or 'bad', and that can help you improve in the future; but their comments and views on what the outcome was like doesn't matter at all if you learnt a lot along the way, and built strong bonds with people you can now trust.

The comments of others are for improvement, not for comparison and affirmation.

Why do we trust others' judgment so much?
Everyone, dependent on their position, responsibilities, personalities, situation and belief system will judge you differently. What one thinks is great the other will find dull. It means what doesn't exactly concern you other than for future improvement, isn't it?

Why are results so important to us then, if its in a context where it doesn't affect our future?

When I was told to give a mark,
I gave a '9' for their satisfaction and a '10' for the amazing ones.
It was, apparently, not regarded as a 'real rating'.
Oh, but it was. It was real.
It was real for different things
Just not with the same intentions you had, I suppose.

You see, we are in different positions.
As an instructor, you of course are striving for fun as well as practice and learning points. Thus, 'ratings' should be regarded seriously and given with meaning. That number should be exactly what the end product deserves, so that we know where we lie and can improve in the future.

As a student with no responsibilities, I of course can irresponsibly declare that 'oh, results are not important' and the such.
But I do have a view, and that is that since it was mentioned that today was for fun and a break from school and its stress, the ratings shouldn't have been present. For, despite the great intentions you the instructor had, it kinda put people into that 'zone' of wanting to perform and feel affirmed.
Just like how society trains us to define everything through 'results', 'results' will be the switch to getting people to be just a little more competitive and lose that element of goodness.
It was fun and hilarious, sure.
But the ratings made it lose a little of that magic.

To me, an irresponsible immature teenager,
The fact that some were afraid and uncomfortable performing onstage but had to go out there and try it anyway---was admirable. That attempt, as I said, is what deserves the mark. And while the ratings I give will not be as meaningful as yours, it will make them just a teeny bit happier.

It's just... Disconcerting when people get offstage and start apologizing for not 'performing' or 'messing up', cuz they most definitely didn't. :>