Heavy heart, but I'm happy. Thank you.

Oh dear.

Friends are remembering my birthday and explicitly asking me if I like a certain brand of stationary or watches.
Paper Stone is expensive and not worth it.
Watches are expensive.
And I won't be using expensive stuffs anyway.
And the price! Oh god, the price.

Sent an essay to the whatsapp group
Fingers crossed, they wouldn't spend so much on a gift just for me
To them, it's 'nothing because there's people out there who spend fortunes'

But no, okay.
No.
That is just plain wastage of money.
Splurging on me is a crazy thought as well as a crazy action.
The only one who ever does it is Mom or family, never people outside of the house.


It's... Too much.
Way too much.

How do I persuade them that it's truly gratifying and heart warming that they remembered, and that is all that matters? A lengthy card was that I needed, and even that would be over the top.

[Update]
Apparently they've bought it already.
... I do appreciate it.
But it's not right
And it weighs my heart down

It's like our friendship was for this instant, and the monetary value of it is the value of our friendship.

...Sigh.

Thank you so much
For being... the first friends ever in my four years of secondary school
(it's nearing the end btw)
To remember my birthday and who prepares presents in advance

People who actually think of me, within that 10% brain capacity they dedicate to other human beings. Who cares about my feelings and what I want. Who... Does the things 'friends' do to one another... Gestures like buying gifts. Or more importantly, stuffs like remembering things about each other.

But I'm not sure if I can get used to it.
All these... Craziness.
Or if I ever will
Or if it even is right, or necessary

I will treasure it.
I can't use it.

I must treasure it.