One day I'll chat openly about shopping and clothes and hair with friends, and quit being so awkward about being girly.

Everything's so... New.

Haven't gone shopping since a long way back, so everything's been breaking down one after another. My room lights, too. Those started flickering and became really cool until it couldn't even be switched on afterward.

New watch
New jacket
New pair of specs
New bag
New school shoes
New clothes
.
.
... And so on.

There's still more stuffs to be replaced by new ones,
but I haven't done that much shopping yet.

I suppose there's finally something 'fashionable' about me now.

It feels so weird tho.
None of these items contain memories and none of them I have feelings for.
To add to that effect, I finally didn't purchase similar looking things.


Well... I suppose these feelings can be built from scratch again.

Kinda missing my old, scratched, marred, hard-to-see-clearly and yellowed-according-to-the-seller spectacles already. Kinda missing my old bed, old dim lights, old tablelight before it broke, old extreme-noisemaker fan before something inside literally flew and spun on its way out, old watch that I fiddled with whenever I was feeling something uncomfortable, old stripey jacket that provided comfort.

New things look better than the old,
But it doesn't feel better.

I suppose the one thing that wasn't replaced (and hopefully never will) is my hair.
This curly and messy-frizzy-bird-nest mop of hair that always looks like I rolled out of bed and a raccoon decided to do tap dance in it (okay yeah not so extreme hah just get the point won't you)--- which I have come to absolutely love and live with.
All I have to do is wash it and go to bed.
It doesn't look neat for sure, but it's fine the way it is the next morning
So that's great in its own way for me.

This typer here most definitely isn't the slender-pale-petite-sleekstraightblackhair-beauty that is considered attractive for Chinese people.
But whatever,
I really really like it, curly frizzy or wavy and whatnot.
It's my hair after all.
Those days of disliking my physical attributes are over.

.
Aaaanywayyys.
I miss my old stuffs.
And I kinda wanna get back to using them again, broken as they are. :<