Cold fingers, again.

(This must be what it means to be young.)

Some days I have a lot to say but none of them are related to one another,
so I end up bundling it all together and ditching that overfilled can at one go.

You feel this too, don't you?
That shaky egg-shell like thread that holds onto your hopes for the future:
An eagerness to soar, a trepidation of what might follow.
A thought; Ah, how great would it be to meet someone your age,
Who's intense and complicated and who knows of the world?
Someone who offers up fresh perspectives and who isn't afraid to be unconventional.
Of course it doesn't have to be a human of romantic interest.

What about the things that come with independence?
Well, first of all there's that strength needed in killing cockroaches by yourself.
Then, there's all those chains of rules coming loose,
Setting you free.
I honestly don't feel trapped or restricted; all that freedom to go out is a million times the amount I need, and all that space for my own beliefs is just right, too.
Age I guess is all there is to it- you want to see beyond what you've always been looking at, and that is how simple it all is.

I want someday to go figure modeling and use that pay for clothes,
But I probably wouldn't do it.

I want someday to sleep overnight in a trusted mate's house,
Get drunk, go nuts, experience pressure that breaks you and
Travel, eat all those good food, study what I love and use it to do something meaningful.

I want someday to fall,
Fall deep into the depths of someone's eyes and be a worthy partner myself
they will be the antithesis of transparency, and it'll be hard to see what he thinks
Yet you'll still trust him and have that faith and love reciprocated.

I want passion,
Help out and go for Pink Dot when you no longer say no to it,
Develop better relations with people I'm supposed to be close to
Repair strained ties that initially weren't planned that way and
Experience all of the unknown.

I want to act and join a theatre,
Play an edgy character, a seductive one, a messed up one, a tired one, a humorous one, one who sings, a submissive one, a two-faced one, a selfish one.
I want literature and to meet people as interesting as my Lit tutor
Find complexity in the world and enjoy it to its utmost.

Yet there'll be hardships and odd people, odd in the way that our personalities clash,
There'll be things I can't do and can do, there'll be so much to be alarmed at.

There'll be panic, but in that panic
The shutterings flying in a frenzied tornado towards you will be
Absolutely stunning regardless.


.
And still, I have not covered all of my thoughts
the randomness is here to stay.