Shapes and lines.

I don't feel good.

And it's strange,
Because I was having such a great day,
Discovering that one of my dream jobs is actually possible and all.
To be told that you're good at something you've always wanted to do,
And that you can consider doing it professionally and as a partime job
To be encouraged by someone who knows about the industry,
Who gives you tips and resources to look to if there's passion- and there is, of course-

That has got to be one of the best feelings ever.

Yet when I returned excitedly to tell you about my ambition
That I will seriously pursue this once A levels are over
And get that 'professional' title,
Do it as a side job thing like the theatre I want to join and productions I want to act in,
A certain confidence surging through me because
I know I can do it, and I will do what it takes-

You threw me a nonchalant 'Impossible'
And almost made a joke out of it.

I'm still gonna go for it, y'know.



But my good mood just simply plummeted,
And I hadn't even intended for it to.

All of a sudden my recent irritability came back in full force,
And the frustration and anger at certain things joined together to brew more pressure in me.


Things are going well...
I'm right on track with my revision schedule
A little irritated by postponed consultations that disrupt my personal plans,
and frankly I think it's simply the lack of sleep that's really adding up to this-
Just moments ago I put body wash on my toothbrush and almost went ahead with it,
And that's the second time-


Oh, enough moaning.
Goodnight, now 💭