Guys seem to like to keep their emotions to themselves
Somehow, opening up about their emotions and showing their vulnerable side is considered feminine
As though 'real men don't cry' is a true and tested statement.
That is obviously a silly stereotype and assumption
And if you know me, I try real hard not to stereotype others
It's not a very nice thing to do.
You seem to have suppressed emotions beneath that warm and friendly exterior, and while others call it 'PMS-ing', I'm guessing that you are just tired and slightly stressed out.
The last time I messaged you to tell you that you are doing great as a president, you told me you were just tired.
And while it is a stereotype, I gotta say, that guys in general do indeed like to be left alone with their emotions.
So I'm not sure if I should write you a card to hopefully cheer you up or just pretend that I don't see what I see.
Regardless, I can feel a little of your exasperation and frustration, and it bothers me. It bothers me because I don't like seeing others upset, and that I sense that you don't have an outlet to express that frustration. As though, you are trying real hard to keep it under control and under wraps, to remain the cheerful and sociable person everyone sees.
It feels like the role of a president is wearing you out, happy as you are doing the job.
And it's totally understandable.
So yeah. Should I write a card? People have ignored me or called me creepy in the past for doing so.
Yes, it's probably real creepy and weird.
Isn't it sad that in today's society, you can't express concern for a fellow human being without it seeming like you are a creepy stalker, or a secret admirer who wants him to like you back?
Can't it be seen as the straightforward intentions that I have?
And yes, I am affected by the way it's seen, simply cause I do judge myself for my own actions, even though I don't do that to others, as unhealthy as that is.
Today's society is such that you don't realize that a certain someone has been really upset the entire time---until he breaks down in front of you. Or, you have noticed and just kept mum about it because it's easier that way. Or, you are too cold a person to care enough.
Having been through that myself, I can safely say, that sometimes even bursting into uncontrollable sobs in front of others gets you nothing more than empty promises of 'ask us to help you in the future!' That are never fulfilled. You even get laughter. Snide comments. Sarcastic laughter.---even if the fact that you cried wasn't to garner attention, but due to suppressed emotions that couldn't be held back any longer.
When we ask 'are you okay?' We seem to mean it on an extremely superficial level. We seem to ask it just so we can feel good about ourselves. We seem to ask it just cause it seems the correct thing to do, and just for the sake of asking. We seem to ask it, expecting the expected answer of 'yeah, I'm fine'. No more probing. Case done and over with. The person remains broken underneath all that.
We seem to be turning into cold human beings who can't give two hoots about others.
Ain't that sad?
As an individual, shouldn't you try to be warm and sensitive to others' emotions?
Why, then, is such concern judged and deemed as something ugly by most?
Although, it can also be that you popped the question truly meaning it, but couldn't continue probing because that would be to satisfy your curiosity, and you can sense that the person doesn't want to talk about it. Been there, done that.
So. Should I write a card? Or a straightforward 'are you feeling alright? You seem to be a little stressed out.'
Should I?
As long as the intentions are not what they seem to be to outsiders, it's okay, no?
Saturday, 28 February 2015
I'd like to get to know you better
"Constructive feedback. Destructive feedback."
Hmm, nice.
I like people who think of stuffs like these :)
I see a potential friend :>
Hmm, nice.
I like people who think of stuffs like these :)
I see a potential friend :>
Have to improve
I'm playing the role of a wife
It's a small role, but it's fun and I'm glad for it
Yesterday during CCA, we tried it out and were told that we look compatible, but 'very awkward as a couple'
I guess I know the reason why
Not being close enough to my supposed husband
Being silently uncomfortable when he pats(?)(grammar fails me) me on the back
Our script is still not confirmed yet
But when I was playing the role of an agent, the ensemble scenes weren't tight enough because of me and my awkward 'no touching'
You should really change this aspect of you, Jie Ying
It's not really normal, and it's not good either for your acting or social life
You should try to think of it as okay when girls hug you from behind
At least while acting, you should throw this away momentarily.
You have succeeded before
You just have to get better at it
Mm. 加油咯。
It's a small role, but it's fun and I'm glad for it
Yesterday during CCA, we tried it out and were told that we look compatible, but 'very awkward as a couple'
I guess I know the reason why
Not being close enough to my supposed husband
Being silently uncomfortable when he pats(?)(grammar fails me) me on the back
Our script is still not confirmed yet
But when I was playing the role of an agent, the ensemble scenes weren't tight enough because of me and my awkward 'no touching'
You should really change this aspect of you, Jie Ying
It's not really normal, and it's not good either for your acting or social life
You should try to think of it as okay when girls hug you from behind
At least while acting, you should throw this away momentarily.
You have succeeded before
You just have to get better at it
Mm. 加油咯。
Chinese New Year
Long week, once again
Chinese New Year was last week but I just didn't have the time to sit down and write
The best part's definitely the people
Watching them gamble
Watching grandpa go from weak coughing to hearty toothless chuckling is one scene I won't ever forget
Watching mum bustling around with her never ending list of things to do
Trying to help her but being told different instructions that changes constantly, all at one go
Trying to talk to her while doing all that stuff
Bro blasts music unfit for the occasion
Lil bro screams and sings
You join him
With your screeching, you believe you contribute enough to make it soothing for the soul.
Dad cracks the same ole jokes and laughs at them himself.
Mum laughs at us for laughing at me who laughs at dad who laughs at himself
Okay that was bad.
I just wanted to try that kinda sentence out.
Anyway.
Great family, food, and movies made it amazing
Chinese New Year may have lost its magic
You may have your own opinions about how they view this occasion
You may have found the people less joyous and excited
You may have found it disappointing that kids were glued to phones instead of running around
But you realize that times are changing.
Adults are growing old and tired of the mundaneness of it.
Kids are... Well... The new generation are mostly electronic device holders
Teenagers are as awkward as you are
It sounds pretty cliched, but you do miss the times when Chinese new year was not a meetup to get over and done with, to finish the food, to finish giving out red packets, to finish saying the good ole 'wow, you've grown up!' Without actually knowing who they are talking to.
It used to be magical.
And you wonder, was it truly magical at the very beginning, or was it the same as now?
The only change may have been the next generation of kids.
The magic may have been in your very soul itself.
When it was younger, purer, and simpler.
Or is it the people who have changed?
This time, you were expecting a heartwarming reunion with loads of chatting and updating each other of their lives. Gambling would be loud and uncontrollably crazy. The adults would be playing mahjong, while kids your age would be building castles with mattresses, even though that never ended well as you were spanked. You would be robbing food from the kitchen to share the raid with your cousins before dashing beneath the block to play catching.
This time, it was just silence. No playing, no screaming, no interaction.
You try to start conversations with the kids you grew up with, but there's a gap and you engage in meaningless talk. Gambling was short. You helped out with the food. Everyone waited patiently. No raiding, no 'HAHA YOU CANNOT CATCH ME'.
Perhaps, that is the magic of childhood.
After all, the only constant is change.
Nothing remains forever, adults and children alike.
Times change. People change. Everything changes.
And while change itself can be good, you are silently disappointed.
You go to bed smiling
You smile, because it is evident that things will never revert back to when you were young, no matter how many years you wait. After all, you do this thing whereby you wait for Chinese New Year annually expectantly for the same scene as when you were young
But childhood will always be that magical short clip that you can click to replay in the theatre in your head, and while indulgence is never good, you allow yourself to go to bed with that clip playing.
You smile, because despite your own disappointment, Chinese NewYear is still magical. The fact that change has taken place is magical. The fact that even mom and dad has changed makes it magical.
Nothing lasts forever. None of that lasted.
But you are glad that at least, there was once when you could experience the magic.
At least, you had it before.
And that is more than you could ever ask for.
And it is enough.
Chinese New Year was last week but I just didn't have the time to sit down and write
The best part's definitely the people
Watching them gamble
Watching grandpa go from weak coughing to hearty toothless chuckling is one scene I won't ever forget
Watching mum bustling around with her never ending list of things to do
Trying to help her but being told different instructions that changes constantly, all at one go
Trying to talk to her while doing all that stuff
Bro blasts music unfit for the occasion
Lil bro screams and sings
You join him
With your screeching, you believe you contribute enough to make it soothing for the soul.
Dad cracks the same ole jokes and laughs at them himself.
Mum laughs at us for laughing at me who laughs at dad who laughs at himself
Okay that was bad.
I just wanted to try that kinda sentence out.
Anyway.
Great family, food, and movies made it amazing
Chinese New Year may have lost its magic
You may have your own opinions about how they view this occasion
You may have found the people less joyous and excited
You may have found it disappointing that kids were glued to phones instead of running around
But you realize that times are changing.
Adults are growing old and tired of the mundaneness of it.
Kids are... Well... The new generation are mostly electronic device holders
Teenagers are as awkward as you are
It sounds pretty cliched, but you do miss the times when Chinese new year was not a meetup to get over and done with, to finish the food, to finish giving out red packets, to finish saying the good ole 'wow, you've grown up!' Without actually knowing who they are talking to.
It used to be magical.
And you wonder, was it truly magical at the very beginning, or was it the same as now?
The only change may have been the next generation of kids.
The magic may have been in your very soul itself.
When it was younger, purer, and simpler.
Or is it the people who have changed?
This time, you were expecting a heartwarming reunion with loads of chatting and updating each other of their lives. Gambling would be loud and uncontrollably crazy. The adults would be playing mahjong, while kids your age would be building castles with mattresses, even though that never ended well as you were spanked. You would be robbing food from the kitchen to share the raid with your cousins before dashing beneath the block to play catching.
This time, it was just silence. No playing, no screaming, no interaction.
You try to start conversations with the kids you grew up with, but there's a gap and you engage in meaningless talk. Gambling was short. You helped out with the food. Everyone waited patiently. No raiding, no 'HAHA YOU CANNOT CATCH ME'.
Perhaps, that is the magic of childhood.
After all, the only constant is change.
Nothing remains forever, adults and children alike.
Times change. People change. Everything changes.
And while change itself can be good, you are silently disappointed.
You go to bed smiling
You smile, because it is evident that things will never revert back to when you were young, no matter how many years you wait. After all, you do this thing whereby you wait for Chinese New Year annually expectantly for the same scene as when you were young
But childhood will always be that magical short clip that you can click to replay in the theatre in your head, and while indulgence is never good, you allow yourself to go to bed with that clip playing.
You smile, because despite your own disappointment, Chinese NewYear is still magical. The fact that change has taken place is magical. The fact that even mom and dad has changed makes it magical.
Nothing lasts forever. None of that lasted.
But you are glad that at least, there was once when you could experience the magic.
At least, you had it before.
And that is more than you could ever ask for.
And it is enough.
Tuesday, 17 February 2015
Embarrassing. So embarrassing.
I thought I had accidentally led someone on
Just by looking at his whatsapp status
Sent a message
Apologized
Went all 'lets talk it out' on him
Then found out that it was just song lyrics he likes
God.
I have thought too highly of myself.
But a guy have told me before that I led him on, knowing that he liked me.... When I honestly didn't.
I just didn't want that to repeat itself
But, god was that embarrassing.
Well at least now I know he doesn't think of me that way, and I can stop worrying about the imagined stuffs in this head of mine.
Well at least now I know he doesn't think of me that way, and I can stop worrying about the imagined stuffs in this head of mine.
Sunday, 15 February 2015
Angst? Sadness. It saddens me that I should feel this way; I'm sorry.
I'm a teenager.
Surprise, surprise.
It would seem that teenagers have this thing called 'teenage angst', whereby they feel angry at pretty much anything and everything in their lives. They become emotional. Rash. Rebellious.
I have been an emotional girl for as long as I remember, so I can't say for sure whether it's 'angst' I feel, or what.
I just know that rather than 'angst', or 'anger', I feel sadness.
I feel a little lost, a little upset, a little tired, a little unsure, a little contradictory.
These thought patterns started developing a few years back. Before I knew it, it had become part of me. And I can't be sure whether it's right or wrong because there is no such thing. There are only expectations. Expectations of yourself from you, or from your loved ones, or society itself.
It is about whether or not you fulfill these expectations, and that by itself cannot tell you, or anyone else for that matter, that you are 'right', or 'wrong'.
I feel like I shouldn't be thinking this way.
I shouldn't have these beliefs.
I shouldn't--- why am I so different from what I should be?
What should I be?
Why should one be so clear of that and be so unsure of what one already is?
I wanna apologize.
But it doesn't solve anything.
It doesn't even mean anything.
But I wanna apologize.
For a selfish reason, I wanna apologize.
That would make us all feel better.
But it doesn't solve anything.
What I see isn't right. What I see can be corrected.
And so I speak up. I tell you guys how I feel it should be like.
Every single time, I'm left wondering, is it me who is overly critical, or you, who is overly protective, loving, and caring that you allow him to be the way he is.
As an older sibling, I should be mature.
I should want the best for him.
What I think is what I believe to be the best for him
But is that correct?
I don't mind being the bad guy.
I don't mind at all.
But I do mind that even after I manage to persuade you to allow me to keep the Samsung Galaxy, you take it back after a month, return it to him, and say that you can't help his... I shouldn't say 'addiction'.
When he throws silly tantrums that mean absolutely nothing.
Am I the one who should stop the preaching, since he's just a kid?
When I don't preach, I stop him with simple reasons, but he continues throwing the tantrums, and the way I see it, he's just a... I shouldn't say it.
Every time I stand up for this belief I personally am so unsure of, I'm told that I'm being overly critical, that he's only a kid, that I'm just being emotional.
Since you guys are who you are, you shouldn't be wrong. But am I really that off the right track?
Maybe I am.
Maybe I'm not.
I only have Mr Bear, so how can I be sure?
I can only try to figure it out.
Perhaps this is just 'angst'.
Perhaps you are right.
Perhaps... But this doesn't solve anything.
I wanna apologize.
For being me, for being so different from what I should be, for not having the same thoughts as you guys have, for not being sorry for being me, for all these... Emotions.
I'm sorry, I must be making things so difficult and frustrating for you.
I'm sorry, I wanna change but then I don't. A person of values is what I aspire to become.
I'm sorry,
But this doesn't solve anything.
It doesn't solve anything at all.
Surprise, surprise.
It would seem that teenagers have this thing called 'teenage angst', whereby they feel angry at pretty much anything and everything in their lives. They become emotional. Rash. Rebellious.
I have been an emotional girl for as long as I remember, so I can't say for sure whether it's 'angst' I feel, or what.
I just know that rather than 'angst', or 'anger', I feel sadness.
I feel a little lost, a little upset, a little tired, a little unsure, a little contradictory.
These thought patterns started developing a few years back. Before I knew it, it had become part of me. And I can't be sure whether it's right or wrong because there is no such thing. There are only expectations. Expectations of yourself from you, or from your loved ones, or society itself.
It is about whether or not you fulfill these expectations, and that by itself cannot tell you, or anyone else for that matter, that you are 'right', or 'wrong'.
I feel like I shouldn't be thinking this way.
I shouldn't have these beliefs.
I shouldn't--- why am I so different from what I should be?
What should I be?
Why should one be so clear of that and be so unsure of what one already is?
I wanna apologize.
But it doesn't solve anything.
It doesn't even mean anything.
But I wanna apologize.
For a selfish reason, I wanna apologize.
That would make us all feel better.
But it doesn't solve anything.
What I see isn't right. What I see can be corrected.
And so I speak up. I tell you guys how I feel it should be like.
Every single time, I'm left wondering, is it me who is overly critical, or you, who is overly protective, loving, and caring that you allow him to be the way he is.
As an older sibling, I should be mature.
I should want the best for him.
What I think is what I believe to be the best for him
But is that correct?
I don't mind being the bad guy.
I don't mind at all.
But I do mind that even after I manage to persuade you to allow me to keep the Samsung Galaxy, you take it back after a month, return it to him, and say that you can't help his... I shouldn't say 'addiction'.
When he throws silly tantrums that mean absolutely nothing.
Am I the one who should stop the preaching, since he's just a kid?
When I don't preach, I stop him with simple reasons, but he continues throwing the tantrums, and the way I see it, he's just a... I shouldn't say it.
Every time I stand up for this belief I personally am so unsure of, I'm told that I'm being overly critical, that he's only a kid, that I'm just being emotional.
Since you guys are who you are, you shouldn't be wrong. But am I really that off the right track?
Maybe I am.
Maybe I'm not.
I only have Mr Bear, so how can I be sure?
I can only try to figure it out.
Perhaps this is just 'angst'.
Perhaps you are right.
Perhaps... But this doesn't solve anything.
I wanna apologize.
For being me, for being so different from what I should be, for not having the same thoughts as you guys have, for not being sorry for being me, for all these... Emotions.
I'm sorry, I must be making things so difficult and frustrating for you.
I'm sorry, I wanna change but then I don't. A person of values is what I aspire to become.
I'm sorry,
But this doesn't solve anything.
It doesn't solve anything at all.
14 Feb
Went for INVASION by Bound theatre today :D
Bound theatre. Check them out! :)
They have put in loads of effort and thought into this production, and that by itself is really precious and memorable for me.
I have this urge to go for the last show on 15 Feb, just so I can understand it better the second time. Ah, but money. My wallet cries from starvation. :<
They have put in loads of effort and thought into this production, and that by itself is really precious and memorable for me.
I have this urge to go for the last show on 15 Feb, just so I can understand it better the second time. Ah, but money. My wallet cries from starvation. :<
It's that kind of performance whereby you get many symbols and good strong moments, but right after the play ends you are not quite sure of what to conclude from it.
It may be that my brain doesn't function well enough,
But when the dialogue session started I was more interested in hearing what others thought of it than to try to digest what I just saw.
It's so rich, so open, so... Deep.
There of course is no model answer, for different people perceive things differently.
I really liked certain moments, like when YanShan (I think) dialed to talk about the birds she saw, and that she didn't really notice them until they were everywhere.
Gradually, she got conditioned to think that she was the one seeing things, and she ended that scene with a powerful 'has anyone ever told you that you have a comforting voice?'.
It was a line that was shallow, but impactful.
She wanted to believe it, the person on the phone wanted her and the others to believe it, no one wanted to delve deeper. They were afraid of the unknown. They were afraid of the consequences following the truth. Or, they just couldn't believe something so absurd. They were blind to things they cannot comprehend. Sound familiar? Humans tend to draw conclusions or ignore things which are complex or out of their circumference of understanding.
Another scene I liked would be when Ping tried to grab the vulgar girl (can't rmb her name... Hehe) and he couldn't. He had lost his physical being. I of course still cannot comprehend the significance of this scene, but I'm guessing it means that he is slowly slipping away into nothingness... And uh....
Another scene would be when his twin An evolved into a minor just like the others towards the end of the performance. The physical part of their acting is definitely commendable. They truly look like the minors we see here in Singapore, and their ensemble scenes are pretty tight too.
But all these are shallow opinions about the play I just watched.
In the handout, it's stated that this play was written to get the audience to see and think about Singapore, our sense of identity, and pretty much the issues at hand.
One of the audience pointed out that minors could be interpreted as pests, symbolic of foreigners as well as Singaporeans in Singapore.
Definitely, the anti-foreign sentiments in Singapore are pretty strong and is a debatable topic. Like Mr An said, we were all foreigners at some point who came to settle in Singapore. Since when did we become the majority, forming 'Singapore'? So then. Why the hate for foreigners?
Perhaps it's due to the fact that we were here 'first'. Maybe cause we stayed here longer than they did. Maybe cause we see foreigners coming to Singapore as people who take advantage of the country's currency and welcoming of foreigners as a way to save up money to improve their lives back home.
Perhaps we feel used. That it's unfair.
Hmmm.
I feel like I haven't gotten to the essence of the play yet.
There's so much to think about;
Why did the girl swear so much? Significance of how restrained and conservative Singapore is, so much so that it extends to the type of language we use?
What do the birds signify? People who flew here, or people who are trying to fly away? A virus? Pests?
What does the reverse evolution signify? With an improvement in our lifestyles, are our hearts becoming smaller and less forgiving? Are we becoming more narrow-minded and less accepting? Therefore, is humanity deteriorating?
Why did the mum suddenly 'spoil' and the doctor tries to get Damien Pang out of it, out of what? Does it signify how society values reality over intangible memories?
.
I have many more questions that haven't yet formed or be phrased
.
I have many more questions that haven't yet formed or be phrased
.
.
I wouldn't say that the play was unclear; the fact that it's so open to interpretation is what makesit so... Interesting.
There of course are endless possibilities to every scenario and action we saw, but right now...
Right now...
I need more time in the shower, on the bus, on the bench with my favorite tree and wind... And think.
Or not think.
Its almost 3am right now and I'm still helping bro with his valentine cookies for tomorrow. Or today. 15 Feb.
Gosh, perception of time gets messed up when you try to be a vampire.
Gosh, perception of time gets messed up when you try to be a vampire.
A ton of stuffs to be done sits on my desk.
But I ain't regretting it. :D
In fact, I really enjoyed it.
In fact, I really enjoyed it.
There's just... So much to think about
Friday, 13 February 2015
Friendship Day in my school today ^~^
Stayed up till 2 making chocolates and cards last night
Gave them out this morning
An acquaintance literally shouted for a chocolate
You, being the person with a low EQ that you are,
Just smiled and left
"Wa why don't you give me? So stingy"
Perhaps, it was indeed stingy of you.
But making the chocolates took time and effort, and you have this belief that if you give out the chocolates to just anyone and everyone, you are lowering the value of it.
You will not be making the people you truly want to make feel special, feel special.
You will feel fake, for giving out things that you thought so much about to make happen---so easily.
So, nope.
You gave it to your class,
For it is indeed a nice class.
You find happiness in here.
You gave it to your friends,
For they are indeed important to you.
You want them to know you remember and care about them.
Especially her, who's in another class now.
You gave it to your CCA mates,
You gave it to your CCA mates,
For they are indeed authentic and nice people.
You hope to deepen the relationships you share
You hope to become friends
So, nope.
The little bit of skin peeling off on your finger reminds you of your goal: to be genuine.
The chocolates weren't as pretty as you wanted them to be, the cards weren't as lengthy as you wanted them to be... But you put your heart into it, and to throw it out so unreservedly would mean that you yourself are cheapening your intentions and efforts.
You dont speak of all these to anyone except for Mr Bear, simply cuz they would tell you what you already judge yourself so harshly by---that you think way too much. That a chocolate is just a chocolate, no matter how much effort you put into it.
That giving one out doesn't matter that much.
Mm hmm.
To be honest, I like this aspect of me. Firstly, since self acceptance is so important. Secondly, since this by itself makes me feel much more happier when the people I give gifts or cards to, tell me that the chocolate was good, or that they liked my card.
It means so much more.
So yes, I probably won't change this quality of me, although I might, if it becomes a bad quality to have.
Happy Friendship Day, special people in my life.
I wish you a thousand smiles and lots of love in your coming year. :)
Sunday, 8 February 2015
Tuesday..
Tuesday
When we run, I will not look pale.
I will not look like I'm dying. I will not feel that way.
My cramps will not get progressively bad.
My head will not spin. My vision will not blur every now and then.
"Are you okay?"
Why, thank you for the concern.
You guys probably know, but I will say that I'm fine regardless.
It's only when one of you decides to stop me that all of the blood rushes to my head and I feel even weaker, and have to sit down.
Thank you, really. Thank you for being caring.
Towards a stubborn and unfit me,
I really shouldn't run even faster when my body threatens to repeat the annoying cycle.
But it annoys me.
It annoys me that teachers always think I'm faking it when I'm not.
It annoys me that I think I'm faking it when I'm not.
It annoys me that I get attention with this. I don't like it one bit. In fact, I'm sick of it.
Even though, deep down, a voice jeers at me.
"Fake, so fake. You have stopped running halfway twice. Are you going to do it every Tuesday?"
So, I'm supposed to not push myself?
I'm fine!
Damn right I am.
Damn right I'm not.
I will not sit down halfway.
I will not look like I'm going to die.
I will not...
Just don't over do it, Jie Ying.
All of these emotions are irrelevant.
It will be fine... It will be fine
On Tuesday...
Saturday, 7 February 2015
Male or female, we are humans at the end of the day. Don't ever, for a second, think that only females are vulnerable. Never, for a second, think that only females can be emotional, judgmental, jealous, scheming... And all other stereotypes that we so forcefully tie in with the different genders. Ultimately... We are just humans. Just... A mere little human.
"Men should never hit women."
Hmm.
Shouldn't it be 'People should never hit people'?
Perhaps, this was under the traditional mindset that women are 'always' physically/emotionally weaker and therefore using violence against them would be wrong.
It's common knowledge that men and women are very different, so this statement is true to some extent. However, does that mean that violence would be alright if it were between two males?
Would that make it acceptable?
Violence itself is bad regardless. People acknowledge that.
But why is it that when men hit each other, it's a brash fight, a bad example, a dangerous situation, but when a man hits a woman, it's morally incorrect, "not right", and generally a more sensitive topic?
I'm female, and while I agree that we are generally not as strong as men and thus are at a disadvantage if physical fights were to occur, I do not agree that violence should be considered differently when it's between males.
Violence is violence.
Be it used against a female by a male, or against a male by one, it's wrong.
You are harming someone, most probably intentionally. Whether it's male or female doesn't matter, for both genders will have the less physically fit group included under the title.
It confuses me when people preach to their children about how they should never hit girls under the vague reason of it being 'wrong', but say something different like 'you were too rash' or 'that will get you in trouble one day' when it concerns two boys.
What makes it so different, may I ask?
Even the sensitive topic of rape goes both ways.
Female rape is a very serious and tender issue, addressed by some (of course many still do not do so and that's wrong too) while male rape is almost never addressed at all.
When a man talks about his traumatic experience of being raped, most brush it off with 'what a lucky guy you are' or other shallow remarks that assume this guy was desperate for sex and that 'deep down, you must have wanted it to happen'.
Why do we not see that both genders, guy or girl, will have their vulnerable moments?
Drugged, drunk, sick, not being physically fit enough to push the assaulter away...
Is it truly only females that face this problem?
Are we not stereotyping each other based on the gender when we say such things?
Male and female, we are different, yes.
Ain't nobody's denying that.
But be it violence or rape or other delicate issues of the world, we shouldn't always look at females as the victims (though they can be, just like guys could be).
We should remain sensitive, and treat these issues like we would with girls---for the mindset is so deeply engraved it's impossible to change overnight--- and see that the same issues and situations can hurt a guy just as much as it would hurt a girl.
Words can really hurt. And if someone in your life is opening up about something like this, chances are, you will either make or break him/her.
I may be wrong with all that's listed above, but I just think that it's weird how we handle the issues that are so alike---so differently---as though if we didn't, we wouldn't be drawing the line that marks the difference between two genders clearly enough.
I'm not sure who out there is reading this. But if you are---whoever and wherever you are in the world--- please make an effort to not be desensitized by our current society, and always take note of what words you choose. But if it's only the words you change, then it's superficial.
It's the fact that all males and females are ultimately, still humans, have emotions and can be vulnerable---that we need to embrace and realize.
Hmm.
Shouldn't it be 'People should never hit people'?
Perhaps, this was under the traditional mindset that women are 'always' physically/emotionally weaker and therefore using violence against them would be wrong.
It's common knowledge that men and women are very different, so this statement is true to some extent. However, does that mean that violence would be alright if it were between two males?
Would that make it acceptable?
Violence itself is bad regardless. People acknowledge that.
But why is it that when men hit each other, it's a brash fight, a bad example, a dangerous situation, but when a man hits a woman, it's morally incorrect, "not right", and generally a more sensitive topic?
I'm female, and while I agree that we are generally not as strong as men and thus are at a disadvantage if physical fights were to occur, I do not agree that violence should be considered differently when it's between males.
Violence is violence.
Be it used against a female by a male, or against a male by one, it's wrong.
You are harming someone, most probably intentionally. Whether it's male or female doesn't matter, for both genders will have the less physically fit group included under the title.
It confuses me when people preach to their children about how they should never hit girls under the vague reason of it being 'wrong', but say something different like 'you were too rash' or 'that will get you in trouble one day' when it concerns two boys.
What makes it so different, may I ask?
Even the sensitive topic of rape goes both ways.
Female rape is a very serious and tender issue, addressed by some (of course many still do not do so and that's wrong too) while male rape is almost never addressed at all.
When a man talks about his traumatic experience of being raped, most brush it off with 'what a lucky guy you are' or other shallow remarks that assume this guy was desperate for sex and that 'deep down, you must have wanted it to happen'.
Why do we not see that both genders, guy or girl, will have their vulnerable moments?
Drugged, drunk, sick, not being physically fit enough to push the assaulter away...
Is it truly only females that face this problem?
Are we not stereotyping each other based on the gender when we say such things?
Male and female, we are different, yes.
Ain't nobody's denying that.
But be it violence or rape or other delicate issues of the world, we shouldn't always look at females as the victims (though they can be, just like guys could be).
We should remain sensitive, and treat these issues like we would with girls---for the mindset is so deeply engraved it's impossible to change overnight--- and see that the same issues and situations can hurt a guy just as much as it would hurt a girl.
Words can really hurt. And if someone in your life is opening up about something like this, chances are, you will either make or break him/her.
I may be wrong with all that's listed above, but I just think that it's weird how we handle the issues that are so alike---so differently---as though if we didn't, we wouldn't be drawing the line that marks the difference between two genders clearly enough.
I'm not sure who out there is reading this. But if you are---whoever and wherever you are in the world--- please make an effort to not be desensitized by our current society, and always take note of what words you choose. But if it's only the words you change, then it's superficial.
It's the fact that all males and females are ultimately, still humans, have emotions and can be vulnerable---that we need to embrace and realize.
Sunday, 1 February 2015
Should you wait?
You see her starting to indulge in the feeling of being loved
Nothing against that
In fact, you're happy that she has someone now
It's just... you haven't come into contact with this human even once
You haven't looked into his eyes for deceit and truth
You haven't seen the way he treats her and the others
You see her starting to follow him
You see the two of them sticking together
You haven't exactly talked to her but you sense it
The fact that you know she's lonely and craving for love doesn't help either
It just amplifies the fear you have for her
Does she like him for who he is?
Your nagging instinct tells you otherwise.
No,
No.
She likes the feeling of being loved
Of being cared for
This can be the start of a deep relationship if she's attracted to the feeling of being loved, and in return, see his soul and the flaws it's encompasses, and love it for what it is.
This can be the start of a deep relationship if he truly likes her for who she is, fears and complexities and all, and not just for her hobby which coincides with his interest.
Is it puppy love?
Is it a one-way street?
Should you tell her?
You say way too many ugly things. They can be hurtful.
Should you wait?
But you can sense it and the signs are getting stronger.
Should you wait?
You have convinced yourself to wait it out since you can't be sure. You have convinced yourself to just be there for her if she gets hurt.
Should you wait?
Yes, it's just the beginning.
No, you can see her starting to invest her heart in it.
Yes, you are thinking too much into the present as well as the future as per usual.
No, you would rather be hated than to cultivate a relationship with meaningless flattery and support her for something you fear would break her.
Yes, you are too afraid of losing her. You don't want to leave her alone. She will make herself alone if you say too much.
Yes, you have no facts about him and only understanding of her. You do not know them.
How ugly.
How ugly of you to see the ugly, think the ugly, and speak of the ugly.
Have you not freaked enough people out with your sudden boundaries and lines not to be crossed?
"Please don't touch me so much (too much) , I don't like it."
"Please don't hit me, only my parents have the right to. If, and only if, I caused you much pain, kill me. Kill me and I will accept it."
"Please respect my privacy, I will reveal it to you when the time is right. "
To only reveal the first part
And for only that to be enough to freak them out with your "over-reacting".
You get angry when these invisible lines are crossed, but you remain silent and laugh it off---and they never know until you mention it.
It takes a lot for you to mention it.
But when you do it, it never feels good. It never feels like a correct thing to do.
Be it exposing yourself or exposing others
You are equally bad at both
So
Should you wait?
Nothing against that
In fact, you're happy that she has someone now
It's just... you haven't come into contact with this human even once
You haven't looked into his eyes for deceit and truth
You haven't seen the way he treats her and the others
You see her starting to follow him
You see the two of them sticking together
You haven't exactly talked to her but you sense it
The fact that you know she's lonely and craving for love doesn't help either
It just amplifies the fear you have for her
Does she like him for who he is?
Your nagging instinct tells you otherwise.
No,
No.
She likes the feeling of being loved
Of being cared for
This can be the start of a deep relationship if she's attracted to the feeling of being loved, and in return, see his soul and the flaws it's encompasses, and love it for what it is.
This can be the start of a deep relationship if he truly likes her for who she is, fears and complexities and all, and not just for her hobby which coincides with his interest.
Is it puppy love?
Is it a one-way street?
Should you tell her?
You say way too many ugly things. They can be hurtful.
Should you wait?
But you can sense it and the signs are getting stronger.
Should you wait?
You have convinced yourself to wait it out since you can't be sure. You have convinced yourself to just be there for her if she gets hurt.
Should you wait?
Yes, it's just the beginning.
No, you can see her starting to invest her heart in it.
Yes, you are thinking too much into the present as well as the future as per usual.
No, you would rather be hated than to cultivate a relationship with meaningless flattery and support her for something you fear would break her.
Yes, you are too afraid of losing her. You don't want to leave her alone. She will make herself alone if you say too much.
Yes, you have no facts about him and only understanding of her. You do not know them.
How ugly.
How ugly of you to see the ugly, think the ugly, and speak of the ugly.
Have you not freaked enough people out with your sudden boundaries and lines not to be crossed?
"Please don't touch me so much (too much) , I don't like it."
"Please don't hit me, only my parents have the right to. If, and only if, I caused you much pain, kill me. Kill me and I will accept it."
"Please respect my privacy, I will reveal it to you when the time is right. "
To only reveal the first part
And for only that to be enough to freak them out with your "over-reacting".
You get angry when these invisible lines are crossed, but you remain silent and laugh it off---and they never know until you mention it.
It takes a lot for you to mention it.
But when you do it, it never feels good. It never feels like a correct thing to do.
Be it exposing yourself or exposing others
You are equally bad at both
So
Should you wait?
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