Hardened clay and stubborn fingers

You were hoping for something
But it didn't arrive and you were probably forgotten

If it weren't the last time out,
You would have stuck it out and thought of it as fine
It it weren't the last time out,
You would have placed pride, meaning, and a hundred thousand reasons above the compulsion to do something like that.

If it weren't the last time out,
You wouldn't have cared,
Or dared pursue what you really wanted.

Instead of wishing,
This is the one time you would go forward for something like this.


.
You know what it is that you want.
Meaning.

But somehow it all pales in comparison to it being the 'last time out'.

Somehow you would mind---and yet wouldn't--- about asking explicitly for what you want.

It feels really bad to go against your own principals and set goals

But it doesn't matter as much anymore.


You might not enjoy it because of this,

But at least you tried. And that alone makes it worthwhile.


PS. You might be wearing that dress with the holes in the abdomen area, too.
That is, if you don't freak out about the holes.
Why? Cuz it's pretty. :D