The performance went well I think :)
Freaked out before that and had a bad day or two,
Worried too much about the dance and just everything in general,
Lost sleep, went quiet, felt bad..
You know me.
Right before the performance it'd felt like nothing would go right
Bruises don't bother you all that much- it's pretty much healed now
The little scratches from friction on one knee is what hurts the most, and yet looks, for some reason, the most minor and unassuming. Plasters will have to do; you can't be a baby and let some tiny pain affect you. The audience doesn't know, and neither do your cca mates. You can't be that soft for something you love so much.
Then the curtains part, and you shift the white cube forward.
Position assumed, the music begins.
Focus on each and every moment, your heart tells you.
That's the way to not let nerves overcome you- Assume control to not be controlled.
Don't tell yourself you can't do it. In fact, don't tell yourself anything.
Just, focus. Focus and let the built in memory take over. At this point in time things are already internalized, so all you need to do is really to just put in your best and enjoy it. Feel the emotions of Jean, and let her bring you into the play. You did it in rehearsals; you can do it again now. Channel energy into your lines and make them heard. Make them count.
Enjoying the process then comes by naturally: It is what you love, after all.
Letting the music take you for that few seconds of dancing worked I think
Not thinking too much in terms of actions you weren't trained to do helped,
And before you knew it, it was the last scene, and it did not feel like you sped through any part or forgot a cue- Although after watching the recording by my sweet brother I see now that there are lines I have to improve on, and improve those I shall, for SYF next Monday.
Then,
it had ended in thunderous applause.
So many of them came.
You received a rose and a pink daisy from classmates- the best gift you've ever received, the first flowers ever,and it was for something you worked so hard to achieve. It really wasn't expected.. And so it was moving.
People said the most pleasant things ever; most compliments were meaningful
And even though one or two didn't come you didn't feel dejected in the least
Because everyone else that mattered, that cared, came.
It is a really beautiful feeling, knowing that your performance, your art, the art all of you came together to create, is appreciated and liked.
Someone I didn't know hugged me and told me to never let anyone get me down, for I was really good up there. And goodness, did that mean loads.
I felt like crying only because it was so sweet the way things too good to be true came true, and because it was over.
You had a hard time falling asleep that night
Because adrenaline hadn't retreated
Excitement thundered on
And the smile on your face refused to curb itself;
It was starting to tire your face
But still you couldn't sleep
And exhausted as you were,
You couldn't help consciously trying to stay awake in the silence of midnight, going over and over again that fifteen minute performance of the day; the hugs that followed, the flowers you received, the way it all played out nicely in the end
Just like what you had wanted
Just like what you had thought it would be.
Thank goodness you were straightforward this time
And all that you wanted to come, came.
There can't be a thing better than that really.
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