You with the sad eyes,
"Don't be discouraged, oh I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people,
You can lose sight of it all
The darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small.
Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy
Can't remember when
I last saw you laughing
This world makes you crazy,
And you've
Taken all you can bear."
.
I've never looked so neat in my life-
My hair hasn't been in a tidier ponytail
And I haven't worn white socks for a year, now.
I ended up forgetting lunch again today
Til the friendly cleaner who smiles a lot asked me if I had eaten,
And at this point it's just typical, and not very smart of me,
And I'm just wondering why my brain hasn't shrunken from all that non-existent nutrients.
Anyways
*deeeep breath*
It's over,
PW is oveerrrr!!
All this shit I've had to take..
All that shit that could have built a dung castle if you stacked it all up together.
It could have been much worse, but it was still pretty bad.
Ah, well, as planned I've already done up three drafts of the graded reflection anyway,
So chuck in one or two more and we're ready to wrap this all up on Friday, the submission date
Pretty great, huh? 😎
I am reaaalllyy exhausted though.. These past few months really hasn't been easy on us- any of us.
Still, revision begins for realz tomorrow- aka. Voting day in the US. I don't think this is a platform for sharing my thoughts on that, but I'm kiiiinda holding my breath for it.
Neither of them are good enough, but it's obvious who shouldn't be elected and who can only be judged according to their actions after election. Either way, I hope the system of only having two candidates changes soon.
I just can't believe that Trump has even made it this far. Still, Clinton ain't that great either, and I am sick of those posts shoving propaganda down our throats- be it feeding incomplete information, blowing things out of proportion, or simply convincing us that one is better than the other.
Trump deals low blows and Clinton doesn't deal them back- but we don't need to have it harped on; sometimes it's just a tactic and it's obvious that by not fighting back she has already won.
(And I'll briefly mention that even the teachers here sometimes inevitably push their opinions onto us, but that's the thing: People are always gonna force what they think upon you no matter the tone; It's normal and you just have to filter it through your own mind. Still, media is the one thing that shouldn't become a mouth piece, but it has and it will continue to be.
Anyway, that's just me and what I think-
You don't have to agree.
.
Now back to my mundane life,
I've been wondering about this
And I didn't really want to confirm it or anything,
But I just have this feeling, y'know?
It's just an instinct churned out by my guts,
And I honestly am not trying to brag.
But, well...
I've been wondering if the bish is actually.. jealous of me.
And this is perhaps the first time that something like that has escalated like this,
Because I've had this one talented actress before, giving me death stares after a performance, and her avoidance of me after my rehearsals improved. (She's transferred now, though, thank god for that)
I don't really know, but that's as far as it has ever gotten,
And I've never felt like anyone would ever be jealous of me, you know that?
I mean, it's me.
I have my strengths and my weaknesses and I like myself.. a lot - I've changed and tweaked huge parts of me just to get to where I am now, and I will continue to do so for as long as possible.
Why else do you think I reflect so much?
Uhh, I am constantly stuck between 'I like me' and 'hey, it's just little me',
And I suppose what I'm really trying to say, is that
I find it shocking that someone would get jealous of me,
And even though it's just a gut feeling,
Something tells me that it's exactly why the bish really dislikes me,
Why,
when I fell out with my only friend of two years
and I managed to befriend the other two group mates
despite her saying things about me to them,
She glares at me and tries to interrupt my conversations with them..
Why,
When I'm done with my presentation and get compliments for it,
She falls into an even deeper, sour mood, as if it wasn't terrible enough before.
Ah, but like I said, it's just a feeling-
Bish is with my past-friend and, well,
I hope they're happy with the way things are
Because I'm still hurt and I think I will be for a little while more,
But I most definitely won't turn back and let any of them step on me.
And if she thinks that by snatching the idea and my friend away,
She'll be happy, then so be it.
I'm left with much better things now;
I am socialising more and I am improving myself.
I try to soften the way I deliver opinions, I really do.
I try my best to ask questions about how people feel about things,
And when I comment on things I make it a point to be polite.
I am being honest when I say this,
Because I really just want to do things right
And if I've done everything I could,
And you're still doing these things,
Then the problem lies with you and not with me
And I can stop wasting my life pondering over it.
So, bitch,
You be you,
And I'll be me.
Today marks the last day of your bitchiness,
And I sincerely hope to God (even though I don't really pray)
That you stop, just, stop... targeting me.
I guess what I wanna say is that jealousy doesn't flatter you,
It just makes you wonder if you're doing something wrong,
And if you aren't, just how sad and pathetic the entire cause is.
Cuz, after all,
If you don't feel good enough,
Isn't improving yourself and being happy right there and then
The smartest thing to do?
.
I watched Trolls today, but for now I suppose I'll shower and sleep and get my energy back before I spam you with more words. 🤗
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