Nuff' said, huh.
It'll be a tough future for America, with a president like that.
I was watching it live via Facebook, so it's been a tense day with a finale that's left many of my friends speechless.
Just imagine what happens to the groups of people that he discriminates against.
What kind of a message does this send out,
That a powerful country like that has a representative that's gotten support for spouting nonsense and attacking all kinds of people?
There's so many things wrong here, that I have no idea where to start.
It's simply frightening to think that such an election has taken place in our generation,
When our graduation means a possible scholarship to the US under his term,
Or a simple hope of expanding things overseas before we return here.
That aside, though,
This is truly a historical event that's left many of us reeling from shock.
Articles explaining their analysis of Trump's triumph and Clinton's loss will be popping up soon, so that'll be interesting.
There's a lot more to say, but for now I suppose we're all just staring in disbelief at something so unbelievable, and are having trouble with coming to terms with it.
I hope you are okay,
I hope you aren't on the verge of tearing your hair out.
(So just ignore what comes after this)
.
Sigh.
Conversely, my troubles are so insignificant and yet still hurtful.
This world is full of shitty people, ain't it?
Right after my previous post my past-friend had messaged me to ask to work on a future project together.. can you believe that?
I was gonna let it go; I was gonna let her go without spitting it to her face.
But she had the audacity to act so.. pure, and kind, and sweet, that I couldn't help telling her all that I wanted to say to her.
I was aggressive enough for once and I stood up for myself. But she had no remorse, she was ugly and she was absolutely terrifyingly disgusting.
We argued, but she acted like a saint and pretended not to understand when I told her not to victimise herself, or that she was just doing whatever was most convenient for her whilst using fake apologies as her tool. I told her that she took advantage of the fact that I wouldn't treat her the way I treated the douche or the bish.
But she said a lot of terrible things back, and, well, obviously it gets to me.
Sometimes... it doesn't matter if you are good at expressing yourself or standing up for yourself. Sometimes, the ugliness of someone else's heart is way more powerful,
And they will not feel sorry for it,
Nor will they give a shit about you.
And, well,
It hurts.
It hurts like a paper cut-
Painful
Without shattering the core of your being.
She did tell me that I was self centred and so on,
And I told her that 'All of us are, but the key thing is how you deal with it. You dealt with it in the ugliest way possible, and you aren't even repenting or reflecting. You're just like the douche, because you point out trivialities for the reason that you can't even provide a sound argument for yourself. And you're worse than the bitch, because you do all these horrendous things and yet you're self-righteous about it.'
But it didn't matter,
Because she went round and round in her circular argument again,
And didn't even once admit that she'd done something bad.
That even though I would have given in either way,
She'd stepped on me, a friend, with a complete lack of humanity.
She did start off her message with 'I forgot what I said to you that day', after all.
It makes a fool out of people, huh. Cuz it didn't affect her in the least bit,
And I am not just convenient, but easy and dumb and soft and useful for her survival.
.
Maybe it was her ugliness,
Maybe it was the paper-cut-feeling it gave me,
But my hopes at sleeping well that night were shattered
And along with it, a tiny piece of me.
I finished two drafts of the reflection the next morning,
But it was consecutive sobs and fitful sleep before that
And I suppose I've been a little haggard lately
Because I wouldn't eat again, and almost threw up afterward when I forced it down.
... I'm alright now though.
People like that aren't worthy of affecting you,
But they get to you regardless.
And since I've been through worse,
It doesn't lead to a disappointment in people in general.
Rather, it's just a temporary cut to the heart-
One that I just need to get over.
This is alright... I just needed to cry.
I did, after all, resolve all those issues on my own.
The project was on the homeless in Singapore (yes it's something I feel strongly for),
the idea on housing here,
And I'd read every single scheme offered by HDB, did my own research,
Wrote my own script, rehearsed it all by myself,
figured out how to do slides & animations (you know how it is with me and technology)
And befriended the other two members so that my situation would improve.
I spoke up for myself against the two of them ugly souls, too.
And I did, after all, learn something.
But I still feel pretty terrible,
And for now I'll just direct that towards other, more important things.
That fiend isn't worth it, after all.
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