Let's talk about some useless stuffs.
Skin.
The condition of my skin has probably not been this good ever since I stopped taking care of myself, started skipping meals and incorporating weird sleep patterns into my lifestyle.
Over the past few days, however, I have simply been lying on my sweet bed, closing my burning eyes, rubbing my throbbing temples, and letting sleep claim me for as long as it wants.
Twice now I have awoken at the usual time but returned to sleeping for another five hours,
And when the dizziness returns, I lie down and do nothing except for some music.
It actually really, really helps,
And though it wasn't my intention to heal my skin as well as my aching body,
It'd worked.
Of course, I have been feeding myself rather decent meals for the past three days,
Been drinking loads of green tea, and taking better care of my skin.
So yes, sleep is the best remedy for all.
Mind.
It is filled with many things as per usual, but at least I'm no longer drowsy all the time, concentration doesn't exhaust me, and memorization is clearer than before.
Once again, I have only the sleep gods to thank; but who knows how long I can keep this up, and therefore how long the effect will last?
Weight.
I've been hesitating when it comes to talking about this, because no one else has noticed and the only difference is when I take the rare weighing scale test. (Yeah.. I just can't be bothered)
Ever since PW struck, it's been a total loss of 5kg. While that's a tiny number, it has actually succeeded in making me feel less bloated and look slightly better. But no one seems to be able to tell the difference, so for now I suppose I'll just treat it as a number: nothing more, nothing less.
I know that it's due to my terrible appetite and negligence, and part of me wants to blame the bad people who led me to that two-week period of sadness, but part of me wants to be honest, too.
Truth is I haven't been dieting; I love my food too much.
Yet it isn't enough for me to turn to it for solace when upset; If anything, I have the habit of avoiding food till I'm happy again, and it isn't enough for me to monitor that I eat regularly and with decent amounts, for if I'm feeling unwell, chances are I skip eating altogether to alleviate the discomfort.
And that has never served me well.
That's why, this coming year I have really gotta eat and sleep more, as much of a glutton as that makes me sound.
Studies.
I know, I'm a broken recorder.
Thus I shall only talk about the things I've accomplished so far,
Because I've heard that that helps reduce stress levels and increase self satisfaction.
I completed the 100 hour programme inclusive of both assessments in two weeks, I've worked through lit guidebooks, an entire stack of GP model essays, much of math and quite a bit of bio since then.
There's still chemistry, and the horrifying prospect that I haven't yet touched it,
But I think what's most important is that I take things singularly, devote myself to that for short periods of time so that whatever should be salvaged, is redeemed (sorta), before I then move on to
other weak points of mine.
There is no reason for me to freak out now,
Because I have been, all year,
And that too has never served me well.
Well.
Instead of a notebook for consolidation in Bio, I am now utilizing flash-card-like ring-bound ones that should probably help me better in memorizing and structure in doing so.
Math requires way more practice, but the basics are almost covered so that's something.
I'll be looking into doing audio recording and seeing if it helps with memorization in Bio, but perhaps that is excessive and my usual methods will work.
Then there's literature, and GP, and for now I'll simply read as much as I can, consolidate the important parts and churn out more notebooks to be flipped through.
Reviewing things and loads of practice will be the key to next year, so that's that.
There's still so, so much to be done.
.... Oh pray, me, relax for god's sake!
Were those my New Years resolutions?
Ah, I've got nooooo ideaaa.
Just know, that studying will be my top priority starting tomorrow
And that it doesn't rob me of my personality or my life,
Because that's what's truly important for now.
One year of mugging, one year of effort,
One year of,
This,
And I will (very hopefully) get to where I hope to be in the future.
In a meritocratic society, this is the best thing to do for yourself, after all.
(And I've got a dream,
Things I want to learn and stuffs I gotta do.
It might sound ironic that I'm studying hard now so that I can study something else harder in the future,
But that is mostly true; I don't want a degree for the sake of it.
I have subjects and languages that interest me,
And getting the A levels done, and done well would enable me to study all that without worry. Right now there isn't enough time, or resources, and only after the A levels can I truly pursue every single Psychology book I can get my hands on, or dip my head into Philosophy, or the books on the market in China and the history of Japan. (And these are verrrrryy subject to change, btw)
Furthermore, I'll probably get into the course I want if I study really hard, so that's that-
It all starts with A levels,and the effort that has to go into that.
I will tell you more about my dreams, in detail,
But it won't mean shit if the most basic of all things-
A levels, isn't yet settled and gotten out of the way.
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